Nationals Fans: Better Luck Next Season
Nationals fans, the season started on March 30th, and you’re already eliminated. Need I say more? At least you have amazing prospects in the minor leagues, and when they turn…
The Funion
Just Why Is There a Potato Chip Flavor of Everything Imaginable?!
We’ve all seen these weird chip flavors, whether from Lays, Pringles, and Ruffles–some of these flavors are questionable, to say the least. But some are intriguing too. I know I…
Is The Green Terror Doing Enough to Protect This City?
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The Green Terror wears a mask. His identity is a secret….
Free Press Writer is Sleepy
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Earlier this week, students were shocked to honk shoo honk shoo…
McDaniel College Adds New Controversial “Frat Boy” Administrative Role
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Hey guys, what’s going on? My name’s Kyle, you probably know…
Letter to the editor: Ditch AP style already
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] As your fabulous (and sexy) editor-in-chief over the past two years,…
McHoroscopes: Whats in store for April?
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Aries (March 21 – April 19): Don’t go to Glar today,…
McDaniel Speedrunners–– a new club for students looking to complete every offered major in under four years
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Everyone knows that McDaniel is the perfect place to double or…
School on a Decline: McDaniel Buildings Begin Sliding Downhill
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Not feeling as winded as you walk up the hill? Is…
OPINION: McDaniel College Should Do an Online Semester in 2023, Just For Fun!
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] I live just off campus, on Pennsylvania Avenue, and I haven’t…
Theater Ghosts Displeased with Sherlock! Musical
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] McDaniel College’s recent performance of Sherlock! The Musical, while generally well…
Prospective Professor Probably Named Paul
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] As the 2021-2022 academic year ends, McDaniel’s various departments are in…
Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Truck Line Extends into Texas
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Who doesn’t love a good pretzel? McDaniel College solidified itself as…
Meet the New Editor-In-Chief: Bowie P. Cat
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] As the Free Press’ current editor-in-chief, Ciara O’Brien, will be graduating…
McDaniel Unveils “Big Honkin’ M” on Water Tower
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Students at McDaniel College were delighted to return from winter break…
Psychology Department Finds Majority of McDaniel’s Stuffed Animals Want to Go Home
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] A shocking new study released on Tuesday by students in McDaniel…
McDaniel basketball headed to March Madness
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Many people don’t know this, but the assistant coach for Saint…
McDaniel College transitioning to assigned parking for the 2022-2023 academic year
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] On March 4, McDaniel College finalized their decision to assign all…
My girlfriend doesn’t kiss me anymore? These quick tips might fix my relationship
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Many single people across the world are always looking for advice…
Father snaps when four-year-old son can’t remember what comes after twelve
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Only three days into his weekend with the kids, local father…