When drama strikes, I always pull out my cellphone. See some people arguing, shit’s about to go down, look over at me and my fingers are deep in the on-screen qwerty keyboard, frantically typing something–anything–to keep the drama at as far a distance as possible.

I’m not exactly sure how this phenomenon began, but I only recently discovered it after taking note of incidence after incidence where the day following a long bar crawl, someone tells me a story like this:

Someone: Dude, you believe that shit happened last night?
Me: What shit? What are you talking about?
Someone: Dude, how drunk were you? Shit! My mans got into a fight with some out-of-townies! How can you not remember that?
Me: Maybe I was really drunk. I can’t remember anything about that, but I do remember the drive home, vividly, thankfully. (checks phone) Oh shit, yeah man, I took a bunch of pictures during that same time frame you are referring to, but none of the actual drama.
Someone: Dude, you missed it. Damn, how do you always miss these things??!?!?!

Clearly, I have a subconscious instinct to avoid drama at all costs. I love knowing about drama, but actually participating in it and witnessing it? Yeah, not so much. Not at all. Especially when I’ve downed a beer or five.

It’s not always pictures. I asked my girlfriend to go back to some of her archived text message conversations between us, and sure enough, every now and then, she gets a slew of messages from me. Other nights, nothing. I’m pretty sure the nights with no texts were largely female-free on my end. That or my man SCS is not there, because for some reason, everyone wants to start shit around him. Not necessarily with him, but without him there, there would be no conflict, no drama. (buries head in phone, let’s see, what’s on Twitter??)

That’s it, that’s all, just had a few extra moments to bang out a post. Have a good one.