Squirrel Squag’s Hoard Found
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Have you lost your key or ID? Did it just disappear,…
The Funion
McDaniel to Close Campus on Weekends
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] In light of the increasing cost of college maintenance, McDaniel officials…
Football Wins in Heroic Fashion
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Coming off yet another disappointing season, the McDaniel football “bro squad,”…
McDaniel Mascot to Change to Better Embody Concept of “Terror”
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The McDaniel Athletics department announced today that the school mascot, the…
The Pickle Gets A Makeover
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] While students were on Spring Break, administrators and Campus Safety were…
Yik Yak Spurs School Policy Change
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] A recent post on the popular social media app Yik Yak…
McDaniel to Enforce New Anti-Environment Plan
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Since many are now saying that the earth is in great…
Glar to Host First-Ever ‘Peasant Night’
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] This coming May, Englar Dining Hall will be hosting its first-ever…
Student Circles Parking Lot for Eight Days, Still No Spaces
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Senior Chet Chetterson has set a new record for the college;…
Screaming Sorority Shatters Eaton Hall
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] There comes a time each semester when Rush is over and…
In Move of Solidarity, McDaniel College Students Join Obamacare
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Last week, Senator Ted Cruz’s (R-TX) decision to sign up for…
College Cliché Plays “Wonderwall” in Red Square for Fifth Time in a Row
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Sophomore Gary Strums took advantage of the warm weather last Friday…
ACC Announces Addition of McDaniel College
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] GREENSBORO, N.C. – The Atlantic Coast Conference Council of Presidents has…
McDaniel’s Sportsball Team Wins Tournament
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The newest sports gang at McDaniel recently competed in its first…
College to Offer Class on the Art of Texting
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Have you ever found yourself wondering how to best respond to…
New SIS Class Explores the Perplexities of Basic Culture and #PSL
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] When McDaniel isn’t spreading salt, the institution also occasionally takes fancy…
New Study Abroad Programs to be Offered by IPO
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] A former student worker in the International Programs Office (IPO) recently…
Family Dog Resents the Fact that he Can’t Live in Dorm
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] When Allie Schwartz returned to McDaniel from spring break last Sunday,…
Students find out there is no toilet paper in the bathroom… at 1 in the morning.
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The morning of Saturday, Mar. 28, at 1 in the morning, multiple…
McDaniel Student Dresses Well for Warm Weather
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The week of March 10 brought about a number of smiles…