[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.]
Who doesn’t love a good pretzel? McDaniel College solidified itself as the college for pretzel fanatics nationwide last semester as the line for the Auntie Anne’s Pretzel truck reached all the way to Dallas, Texas. We got in touch with McDaniel alumni from across the country to talk to some of the patient and hungry students to hear about their experience.
“It’s hard,” said one sophomore standing in Kentucky. “But I think it’ll be worth the wait. I hope they have the little hotdog bites.”
Another student in Arkansas showed no signs of losing patience. “I’ll give up this spot when I’m dead,” they said.
Though many admired the patience and resilience of these students, others remained skeptical. A faculty member who chose to remain unnamed called the situation “baffling” and “impossible.”
“How did this even happen?” he remarked.
“There’s barely like two-thousand students here. Who are the rest of these people?”
The two Auntie Anne’s employees manning the truck showed remarkable grit and dedication to their work.
“Send help,” said one. “ I want to see my children again.”
“I have not blinked in forty-eight hours,” said the other.
“I have seen the face of God and lived.”
Sadly, the Auntie Anne’s truck has not yet reappeared on campus, but we have one thing to say to them for when they do: you’re gonna need a bigger truck!
