[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.]
With all the recent rebranding that has been going on around campus, student Finstock Johnson has decided that he wants to take part in the action.
“I was walking past Gill Gym on my way to dinner and saw the sign, ‘Who will you be at the top of the Hill?’ It really got me thinking, ‘Who will I be at the top of the Hill?’” Johnson said.
In an attempt to solve this existential question, Johnson has decided to rebrand himself as the “cool guy” on campus. “I was never much of a party-hard type boy,” Johnson says, “but I think with my new identity it can’t hurt to try.”
In an attempt to “draw the boys to the yard,” Johnson has renamed himself Master Chief Dovahkiin (Zelda for short), and has begun to throw “Dungeons and Dragons” parties in the basement of DMC.
Though his turnout is currently comprised of less than 0.5 per cent of McDaniel students, Dovahkiin remains confident in his new image.
“I’m not concerned,” he states. “It’s only a matter of time before the women’s lacrosse team players are regular attenders to my D&D parties.”
For more information, contact FPS007@mcdaniel.edu.
