Letter to the Editors
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] I am writing this letter to the editors as someone who…
April 2016
Campus Profile: Peter Lynn, Head of E.T. Department
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] After multiple complaints by students, Campus Safety has finally agreed to…
Trump Drops Out of GOP Race
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Republican candidate Donald Trump has announced today that he is dropping…
Green and Go to Open Gas Station Outside Rouzer
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] McDaniel Residence Life, in conjunction with Sodexo Dining Services, have announced…
Cockroach Having Hard Time Financing His Education
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] There’s no doubt that college is now an expensive endeavor in…
Students Raise Concerns of Alumni Purge
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] While it’s widely known that only a few McDaniel grads can…
Coch Ness Monster Sighting
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] This past weekend, Campus Safety Officer Miranda Wright made a surprising…
How to Raise Your Green Terror
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The Green Terror (Greenus Terrorious) is an endangered species native to…
Due to Rising Tuition, Students Construct Shanty Town in Harveystone Park
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] After yet another tuition increase was announced for the 2016-2017 school…
Editors Create Smallest Orchestra to Console Whining Editor
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] On the night of Wednesday, March 30, Free Press editors Hannah…
Squirrel Squag’s Hoard Found
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Have you lost your key or ID? Did it just disappear,…
McDaniel to Close Campus on Weekends
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] In light of the increasing cost of college maintenance, McDaniel officials…
Football Wins in Heroic Fashion
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Coming off yet another disappointing season, the McDaniel football “bro squad,”…
McDaniel Mascot to Change to Better Embody Concept of “Terror”
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The McDaniel Athletics department announced today that the school mascot, the…
The Pickle Gets A Makeover
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] While students were on Spring Break, administrators and Campus Safety were…