[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.]
When McDaniel isn’t spreading salt, the institution also occasionally takes fancy in creating courses relevant to today. After another long, sleepless night of deep thought and self-loathing, Dr. Cumbersund Banderwith, professor of stuffology, devised what is likely the most relevant course to the world today: “Pumpkin Spice: Understanding the Perplexities of Basic Culture,” which will be offered in the fall 2015.
Among other topics, the class will explore the notable history of the pumpkin spice latte and its following. Students will even meet at a local Starbucks instead of a classroom and document the growth in popularity of the beverage throughout the fall season.
In addition, the class will analyze patterns among those who purchase pumpkin spice products. These include the gross selfie index, brain molecule count and sense of commitment.
Banderwith also hopes to have his entire class hooked on pumpkin spice flavored and scented items by the end of the course. “This is the only way my students will truly understand this craze. They must become so involved that they guzzle down pumpkin spice just as much as an everyday basic individual,” says Banderwith, who spends his free time alone, crying.
“I’m also interested in seeing which comes first, the pumpkin spice latte, or the basic individual, much like the chicken and the egg,” states Banderwith, who finds this whole craze to be quite confusing and over-commercialized.
Nonetheless, the fall is a great time for a course that it completely based on pumpkin spice products. In the words of Banderwith, “Fall is the time of the year in which we must endure the endless jokes not only by people who are part of the craze but also those who are strictly separate from it and who ironically talk about it more, like Kyle Parks. Seriously, I heard that this kid is writing an article joking about the pumpkin spice craze IN LATE MARCH. What a loser.”
No students had the willpower to even attempt to comment on this course, which must be a good sign. Directly after answering the last question of the interview, Dr. Banderwith then proceeded to start crying before vanishing into thin air. No one has seen him since.
