[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.]
Approximately half an hour before midnight yesterday evening, a McDaniel sophomore was found lying in her bed doing absolutely nothing and regretting some of her short-term life choices.
“I’m tired, I haven’t done anything, and I don’t feel like doing anything,” she whined. “But really, all I really want right now is some pizza. Yeah,” she added.
Realizing the inconvenience of obtaining pizza at that hour, the sophomore sulked to her desk, grabbed a bag of pretzels, and opened her laptop, hoping that she would somehow muster the motivation and alertness to begin her homework or do something productive before midnight.
