Nathan Wuertenberg
Co-Commentary Editor
1) You’re not an artist, stop playing your guitar in the Quad.
2) Making your status song lyrics doesn’t make you deep, it makes you annoying.
3) The dead revolutionary you’re wearing on your shirt didn’t fight for you, stop stealing things from a culture that hates everything you stand for.
4) Stop liking movies because the Oscars told you to.
5) Shave off your soul patch and burn it with the beret you’re wearing.
6) Flip flops are for sunny weather, not January. Buy socks.
7) I shop at Walmart because it’s cheap, I eat meat because it’s delicious. Stop trying to guilt me into joining you in an expensive, tasteless lifestyle because somebody’s suffering has caught your attention this week.
8) You took one class on whatever topic you are now trying to “school” me on. You’re an expert like Wikipedia is an expert.
9) Smoking cigarettes you rolled yourself doesn’t make you more interesting, it makes you a douchebag with lung cancer.
10) Stop reciting quotes as your own thoughts, other people have seen that Dane Cook special.
